I logged onto my FaceBook account and there was a message in my inbox. “Did you ever find what you were looking for?” That was the beginning or our newfound virtual relationship. For the next nine months we spoke on the phone every single day and the emails / texts were constantly flowing. We proclaimed our eternal love to each other and continued to devote ourselves to each other. He asked me to marry him in May of that year and of course I said, “yes!”
Circumstances prevented me from moving right away but our love and commitment prevailed. Finally, in October 2010 I packed up everything I had and came to San Tan Valley to be with the love of my life.
On Valentine’s Day of 2011 we became man and wife. Our level of connection had risen and our friendship became more than just friendship. I feel honored and blessed to have reconnected with my best friend, my lover, my savior. Our romance continues to blossom as our story is still so new and fresh.
I wear marriage well. It fits me better than any article of clothing I own. I feel completely fulfilled and satisfied within my own self. My purpose in life finally awakened and aroused. Having a husband makes me bolder, stronger and more beautiful.
On this day of my very first anniversary I do hope that all you lovers out there will take a moment to really tap into what your significant other means to you. I cherish each and every moment that I have with this man and look forward to our happily ever after.
Happy Valen-versary, Colin Thomas Keefe. Thank you for loving me the way that you do.
Unto Him, I Surrender
March 23, 2011
How I got here without a compass is pretty obvious. I followed Him as He extended His heart, and bared His soul, unto me. For once I really listened, literally opening up the lines of communication both ways, after 20 long years. The search for true self rested on my heavy shoulders as I was taken back to such years gone by. My first and last love reached out to me. I found myself surrendering. He was extremely persistent in this particular journey, or quest while time seemed to have stood still until I found myself abandoning all hope, limiting my dreams immensely. I took refuge and comfort in all that was dark because the light I had seen was so familiar yet so rare, yet so common. So, when I sensed His calling out to me by name, time and time again, not only did I question my hearing but my mental wellness as well. I decided I had to give up on my stubborn reluctance and open up to all of the possibilities He offered me. He had me at His “dance” and for some reason I knew it all too well. Divine.
At a young age I found myself tampering with different choices and decisions. I was invited from “home” to “home”, bombarded with words such as faith, glory, hope and worship. Up until these past few months I had little or no inkling as to what these words were truly capable of, let alone their proper definition.
Uprooted and sacrificing my entire world as I knew it He continued to pursue me, claiming me as His own. I had a lot of soul searching ahead of me but I had to place my trust in Him and HIS desire, along with my curiosity which seemed to have gotten the best of me. The temptation, furthermore succumbing to His constant devotional of love and promise brought me to tears, and, out West where not only would I find myself becoming one with Him, but spreading myself thin within the mountains, the sunshine and various curious critters as well.
He may not have died on a cross in order for all of us to heal, although He would have if circumstances arose, but, I can tell you with an utmost certainty and overwhelming amount of respect that practically hurts, that He was placed before me, around me and inside of me since the day He was born, and for a reason I can now confront open mindedly, I once again surrender to His strength and power which were delivered exclusively to, and for me. He had risen, died and risen once again only to proclaim a specific purpose. My self worth and entire salvation selfishly and selflessly embraced His honor and charm, in turn cultivating duel needs and wants.
I always thought no matter what stressors life has tossed at me, good or bad, that I would continue to carry a fistful of darkness. Now I simply find my darkness by the shade of the moon. I can finally admit, and it is my honest and personal testament that a lit up life can conquer many more simple pleasures such as happiness, harmony and laughter which contrarily may create and become a wholesome atonement of universal thoughts which, in best, should drown out any inconsistent negativities. Well, if you believe in a hypocritical lifestyle. A path where there are no remorseful, offensive obstacles and a dream worth risking where each and every day I am conscious and aware that my newfound wings will sail me off in a positive direction despite my ignorance towards coastal zones.
My modest new house has become home…ours, not just His. You may not find a piped organ or a choir amongst you but you will most certainly hear video games and feel a sense of a well cropped, healthy and functional family. And for that I am eternally grateful. For Him, as well as myself I have repented for sins and become a better me. We share a life that I can honestly refer to as a franchise made in heaven that will outlast life and continue throughout eternity. I fear Him not and welcome every day as though it’s Sabbath, every day. And, on Judgment Day I am confident that our love will allow us to enter those infamous gates, leaving our regrets, flushing all evil and letting our infinite forgiveness subside so that we can continue our united front as a Higher Power, together.
He, is my husband. Lover, warrior, savior, bodyguard, provider. My best friend.
He, is my hero.
And I surrender
In the name of my husband who is my kingdom and rock, my children of pride, my family and glorious friends forever,
Peace be with you
And also with